Money is a widespread and persistent source of stress amongst adults globally. 

This is not surprising. We need money to function in the world. And we can’t always control how it flows in our lives. 

Financial wealth is also an important factor in how we view ourselves: our self-worth. And in how others view us: our status in society. 

Is it any wonder that financial anxiety saps our sense of self, taints our relationships and warps the perception of our place in the world?

The universality of financial Anxiety

Anxiety is emotional pain. When it comes to pain, there is no hierarchy. 

We all feel pain in our own unique way and none of us can ever truly know the intensity of someone else’s discomfort.

Who decides whose financial anxiety is more worthy of sympathy and help? Without always being aware, we all do. 

We might sympathise and support someone who is struggling to make ends meet, and be indifferent to the pain of someone who was once rich and has now lost it all. 

The visible struggles of an impoverished single mother can trigger memories of our own past experiences and bring up anxieties of our own. 

The difficulties of someone with a fancy car and a flamboyant lifestyle might be less visible. In fact, that person is more likely to be ridiculed and publicly humiliated: the schadenfreude reserved for the flaunty who have fallen.

Every one of us has a unique blend of factors that determine how we live, and show up in the world. Your ability to make money is determined by your skillset, your aspirations, your connections and your mindset around money. 

However, the fear of lack and loss is universal. 

Financial stress carries emotions including fear, discouragement, pride, blame, shame, guilt, anger, frustration, resentment and more. 

These heavy, debilitating emotions become exacerbated by the corrosive judgment of others who barely know us. 

When in the grip of such emotions, our whole being vibrates on a frequency that attracts situations and experiences that trigger more such emotions, creating a frightening spiral of doom and gloom. 

On a deep unconscious level this low vibration state of being repels people, opportunities and experiences that could help us out of that quagmire. 

I will never forget the day my son came to me distraught at the news that his good friend in the US had been killed by his own father. His father, we learned later, had been under immense financial stress. His tortured mind told him that shooting his wife, son and then himself was the only way out.

Three steps to addressing and alleviating financial anxiety

Awareness: Think of your anxiety as an overprotective, well-meaning parent who wants the best for you. If you pretend not to hear their warnings, they will only shout louder (or ground you!) until you pay attention. So, why not stop and listen with curiosity? Let the part of you that is trying to protect you know you are paying attention and that you appreciate their concern. Become aware of your circumstances: where you are, what you have and where you are hoping to go. That provides the necessary context for your real or imagined fears. Become aware of what you really want. What are your goals, especially those that you need money for?

Acknowledgement: Make a list of the things you fear and are anxious about. Give form to your anxieties by moving them out of your head and putting them down into words. This reduces their power over you. Your list could have things that are already in play, such as the rising cost of living or some other issue that is now making a dent on your finances. It can also include items that are ‘what-ifs’ that sometimes keep you awake at night: the crises that could threaten your financial independence and security. It might also include things that have happened to you in the past and that you now worry might happen again. Give them all space to be seen. Look at them with an open mind and a fresh pair of eyes. 

Action: Their relevance, urgency and importance. It is amazing how freeing this exercise can be. You might even be able to laugh at some of the things that have been taking up your headspace. As for the rest, you can now take immediate action or put in place a plan that builds a more secure foundation. 

Before you can lay down a strong and secure foundation, you must first envision what you want to build. What are your aspirations and goals? They will be unique to you and so will be your blueprint for creating abundance.  

But first let’s step back a moment from the minutiae of individual aspirations and look at the big picture. What you and everyone else out there really want is simpler and more profound.

The universal aspirations around money

Financial Independence: Whether as an individual or as a family unit, you want a reliable and regular source of income. You want the sovereignty to decide how, when and what you spend your money on. You want enough money to pay for your basic needs – food, water, shelter, clothing and basic utilities. You’d also like a little extra to buy the small luxuries that make life enjoyable. And you ideally want a cushion of money for those unexpected expenses that you’d rather not ask anyone else to help you with. 

Financial Security: There is so much that is not in your control. Rather than letting that uncertainty weigh on you, it makes sense to be prudent: create an easy-access pot of money for emergencies. You proactively prepare for a time when the unthinkable might happen and threaten your financial independence. You might be the main breadwinner or even the sole breadwinner in your family. You’re thinking about all those people who rely on you to provide for them. The safety net and support system must cater for them too. When you’ve put things in place for unforeseen, unpleasant events, you reduce the anxiety around the ominous what-ifs.

Financial Freedom: When you have both financial independence and financial security, you can focus your time and energy on the things that really matter to you. You do this knowing that your comfortable lifestyle is assured and you have no reason to think about, let alone worry about money. You do the things you love, go to places that bring you joy, and spend time with people who elevate you. In living this way, you create value that is priceless and immeasurable. 

Financial freedom is at the heart of living an abundant life.

It is not about having lots of money or material possessions. 

It is knowing your needs will be taken care of when they arise. 

It is knowing you have complete agency to choose how you live. 

It is knowing you are free to be your authentic, vibrant self and feel joy, peace and love in abundance. 

Deep down, freedom is what every one of us longs for. But it is rarely gifted to us. It must be created.

Creating Secure Financial Foundations

If you were building a house, the first thing you’d do is to check the ground and lay a secure foundation. It is the same for your financial future. 

There are four pillars that make up your financial foundation. 

Protection: This keeps you safe and secure when things go wrong. It creates a safety net for when there are unexpected setbacks in your life. Setbacks that could lead to a loss of belongings, income, health or even life. This would usually be in the form of insurance policies, savings, a family support system and/or a government-funded social security system. 

Saving: These are pots of money that help pay for planned or unplanned expenses that are expected to arise within the next five years. The important aspect of this pillar is that you are taking very little risk with your capital, and you might receive modest compensation from the financial institution that holds your money in the form of an interest income. 

Investment: This is where you allow your money to truly grow over time. Your expected returns are in the form of dividend payments or capital gains made by the underlying asset which has the capacity to deliver above-inflation levels of growth. This pillar supports your medium to long-term goals which are more than five years away. It could also become a future source of passive income. The key difference here is that your capital is at risk, and your returns are not guaranteed. However, when done well, investing is a highly rewarding way to create wealth over the long term.

Pension: Depending on your age, this pillar supports your longest-term goal of retiring comfortably with a secure and ideally flexible source of income. It supports you when you are no longer employed or doing what currently provides your regular income. This pillar has similar characteristics to the investment pillar, but in many countries it comes with special tax benefits that incentivise individuals to plan for their future. 

Unlike a foundation for a physical building, the relevance and strength of your financial foundation will change over time. 

Your life situation, needs and wants will evolve. Your pillars will need to be reviewed, resourced and rebalanced to ensure they are fit for purpose. 

You don’t have to focus on all four pillars at once. That would be overwhelming for anyone, especially if you are doing this for the first time. 

Talking things through with someone you can trust, who has your best interests at heart and who can be objective and non-judgemental, can be very helpful. 

There are financial coaches and planners, like me, who provide such a service. It is our role to help you see things more clearly, reduce the overwhelm of dealing with your finances alone and take the necessary steps to get you from where you are to where you want to be.

If you would like to explore this further:

As a deep transformation coach, I help my clients create their own unique blueprint of an abundant life by optimising their time, energy and money.  

If this resonates and you’d like to find out how I can help you, you can book a free exploratory conversation with me. 

If you’ve noticed you have unexplained financial anxieties, you might find it helps to identify, acknowledge and release emotions you are not fully aware of. I am a certified emotion code practitioner. For this you can book an emotion release session with me.

The second of four sessions of the new free online series titled Money Matters, is on Saturday 16th May, 10am to 11am BST. The focus is on Guilt-Free Spending Strategies that help your money go further for you. This frees up resources that go towards making your financial foundation stronger. You can find out more and register here.