A friend of mine who knows a thing or two about wine recently explained how the experts assess quality using the BLIC test. It comprises Balance, Length, Intensity and Complexity. What if we could apply the same test to our lives?

Are you happy? When a friend recently asked me this question, I had to consider how to respond. It’s a simple question but I have almost never been able to answer it with a clear “yes” or “no”, at least not without a preamble or explanation of some sort. What really is happiness? How does one find it, create it or hold on to it? And why as a society are we so obsessed with it?

No one really prepares us for rejection, other than life itself giving every one of us our own unique lesson in it. The simple act of selecting something or someone is in itself an implicit rejection of all else that was on offer. We could not function if it weren’t for our ability to choose. We experience rejection both explicitly and implicitly from the day we are born, and yet it is the one thing we dread most in our daily lives.

The practice of gratitude is one of the most powerful ways of creating abundance in our lives. And yet, like most things, there is a duality to it, a dark side, that can hold us back. What are you grateful for today? Can you list five things each day that made you feel happy, safe, loved or valued? The practice of acknowledging the good things in your life is key to attracting more of them. The habit of expressing appreciation to those who bestow you with those good things is what keeps humanity going, despite all the challenges and negativity. And yet…

What really is the difference between independence and freedom, especially when it comes to individuals like you and me? Is it possible to have nothing, be at the mercy of others’ will and yet be free? And conversely, despite being independent, why do so many of us not feel free?

Whether you’re in full lockdown, self-isolating, or are one of our heroes on the frontline, this is a moment in human history that we will remember for a long time.It would be a shame to allow a crisis of such proportions to go to waste. What lessons can we learn and how do we want to look back on this extraordinary time in our lives? This is a unique opportunity to do a few things differently that in years to come we can look back on with pride and satisfaction.

In a time when we are digitally more connected than ever, at least on an illusory level, social isolation is probably at an all time high. “Friends” and “followers” on social media are no replacement for real conversations and human interactions. Our social media avatars have become yet another mask we wear to selectively portray a certain persona. Today I want to share a few things I do to make it work for me to stay open to new connections, some of which go on to deepen into real friendship.

Relationships fascinate me. How new people come into our lives. How some people help us to grow by being supportive whilst others appear to teach us life lessons in the most unexpected and hurtful ways. How someone you were once best friends with is now on a completely different wavelength. How in your hour of need exactly the right person shows up, as if by magic, helps you and then disappears before you’ve had a chance to even say thank you. Or how you can no longer bear to be around people you once so loved and admired.

I recently listened to Dr Gabor Maté’s audiobook When The Body Says No. I don’t exaggerate when I tell you that it has shaken me to the core and changed so much of what I thought I knew. I’m not alone in my belief that staying positive is one of the simplest things in our control that can lead to better emotional and physical wellbeing. I now know I was wrong.

Today I’m sharing with you something I put together for my children, to help them deal with the curve balls life will inevitably lob their way. No matter how grown up or responsible you are, there will be moments when you feel like a helpless bystander in an out-of-control world.